Fatter With A Vengence

I'm back bitches!

I've been gone for so long, that I fell off the wagon three times and got back on it twice. Actually, I'm currently off of it, but not because I fell. It was more like I hurled myself off of it into gluttony's sweet embrace. 

What had happened was...

 

Honestly, it's all so boring and predictable. Ok, so I started doing well with my diet and exercise and then I started to realize that I was doing well and decided that that needed to stop immediately. True to my nature, I sabotaged my diet by telling myself that I deserved to eat pizza every day and that since I was going to the United States in SIX MONTHS, I should celebrate by eating my weight in empanadas. 

And then I went to the United States, ate everything that didn't run away, and now I'm at my heaviest since before I moved to Korea! YAY!!!! The theme of this blog really isn't even weight loss anymore. It's failure. 

But, what can I say? I love torturing myself so I'm starting again tomorrow. Or maybe Monday. Seriously, it's difficult to start a diet on any other day. But, here are some things I learned while in the United States. 

Let's talk, 'Murica.

First, portion sizes are out of fucking control in the States. I eat enough to weigh 230 pounds at 5'5" and I was gasping at the amount of food I saw brought to the table almost every time I went out to eat. There were several moments where my husband just looked at the piles of food in front of us and lamented about how our meals could feed his village in North Sumatra. It's truly a sickening wake up call but I'm grateful for the reminder that the portion sizes I'm used to ARE NOT NORMAL! 

On the other hand, one thing that was nice was having options. When I want to cook something here, I have to first write down the list of ingredients I'm supposed to have and then, in an adjacent column, write down the ingredients I could probably replace them with. This is because Indonesia doesn't have things like turkey bacon or wheat flour. That healthier alternative shit is damn difficult to find, and when you do, you have to practically turn tricks to pay for it. (Case and point: a small bag of quinoa costs over twenty dollars). So, it was a breath of fresh air to not have to really search for anything or spend 30 minutes just trying to figure out how you could possibly make a recipe work before you even get to the market. 

So now...

 

I'm taking a Pilates class a few times a week, which isn't as bad as I thought it would be. It's not the most interesting exercise I've ever done, but I really need to work on building some core strength so it's a necessary evil. 

I'm going to go back to counting my calories even though I really hate doing that. I've realized that it is pertinent to losing weight and that I'm just going to have to understand that no matter how I do it, it is going to suck. Losing weight is not a fun process. This is not Extreme Weight Loss with Chris Powell. (Call me! 😘). Nor is the vastly underrated show, The Swan. It's real life, and it kind of blows. 

I'll keep you updated on my "progress."