A Graphic Representation of my Diet

This last week has been far better than the previous two. I've gotten into the groove of cooking my meals on the weekend, and it turns out that week I didn't lose any weight was well made up for the following week. I'm still very slowly, but steadily losing weight.

BUT...

There are still those little things that get on my nerves about the whole weight-loss-inspiring-transformation-life-chaging-healthy journey thing I'm doing. Here are some graphs and charts to represent all the annoyances in my humdrum life:

Yeah, let it be known that you cannot spot reduce people!      

When you lose weight, you lose it wherever the fuck your body decides it wants to. Luckily for me, someone who is already grossly over-pear shaped, I'm losing it all on the top first. This is why I always hate the first few months of dieting, because it actually just starts to make my body look even more ridiculous than it already does. So while I'm down a bra size, I can still balance a glass of water on my ass.

Seriously, my ass is already freakishly big, and now that my waist is getting smaller, it looks like I could be in a side show. Benji is afraid to go into any store with me that has glass objects because he knows my ass will probably end up knocking them all off the shelves! 

I'll never understand people who say that after dieting, they feel like they will never eat junk food again. That's good, then stay over there, high-and-mighty. I, for one, could still eat an entire tray of Oreos and though I'm not necessarily proud of it, I'm not about to deny it either. That's like forgetting who you are. So, most of my day is thinking about unhealthy food and how much I long for it.

There's no exaggeration here. 

Seriously, who is in charge of where they put these things? It's almost like grocery stores are playing a sick game to see how many places they can put shitty/delicious food that's in your line of vision. "Oh look, some organic cauliflower! And right next to it...cotton candy flavored carrots?" What the fuck?

Shit starts gettin' real around Thursday. 

For real though, the further into the week it is, the longer it's been since my cheat day and you should therefore not engage. On Monday, I have a new lease on life. I decide I'm gonna get my shit together. I consider taking a Pilates class. By Friday,  I start scrounging through the community fridge at work, like an alcoholic looking for a quick fix in rehab. Just scrape that mold off the cheese, I'll take what I can get!

There's nothing much that has really changed about this one. 

Overall, I'm doing okay. I seem to be doing well, actually. And I'm afraid to admit that almost because this is usually around the time I start fucking things up. But if I do, I'll be sure to let you know.