What Would Have Happened if the 5K Weren't Cancelled

I'm still pissed The Color Run was cancelled. 

So, I decided to pretend like it wasn't and take pictures of all the shit that certainly would have happened if I had actually attempted to run it.

The morning would start out spectacularly well:

 

I totally got this. I'm ready.

Cute pose before the run! I'm gonna look exactly the same after this is all over!

Wish me luck!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Look at me! I'm running a 5K!

This is so easy! Why do people say running sucks?

Ladida! All fancy and free.

I'm killing it! 

 I might even have gotten a little cocky. 

Just stretchin' my glutes.

Of course, there would be distractions...

 

Eventually, reality would start to set in.  

 

"How long have I been running? I'm almost finished right?" "Ashley, you haven't even made it to the starting line yet."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The pressure of finishing the race would start to take its toll. 

 

 

But one way or another, I would've found a way to get to the finish line...

 

I think I saw a sign saying to go this way.

I'll just hop on over and join the others.

No harm, no foul. Totally legit.

No one saw me, good.

Suckers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There would be moments of desperation...

Oh THANK GOD! Water!

And times when it would seem all hope was lost.

For Christ's sake! I said go around!!!!

"Seriously, how far am I now?" "About half way."

DEAR GOD WHY?!!!?!??!

But eventually, I would muster up the strength so that I wouldn't be last.

You're not taking my second to last spot, bitch!

 

When all was said and done, I'd be happy sort of. 

Nope, not sweaty at all.

And that concludes my epic fantasy 5K.

I'd like to take a second to acknowledge that I have the perfect husband. All I said to him was, "Babe, I need you take some pictures of me outside." And he didn't ask any questions, he just went along with it. Also, thanks to that random woman who let me take a picture of her and was a great sport.