Two Weeks

Things are going relatively well.

I've been on the slow-carb diet now for almost a full two weeks and things are going better than I had anticipated. Don't get me wrong, I understand fully that this could still be New Year's bravado rearing it's deceptive head, but I'm going to be cautiously optimistic and say that I have a chance of sticking with this for a while.

Anyway, the first few days actually weren't the worst. Everyone always says they will be, especially when you go from consuming a shit ton of sugar and carbs to practically none, but actually, I've found the first few days are always easy. Why? Well, like I mentioned, it's bravado. The first few days you start anything new, you always feel this rush of optimism, like "THIS time it's totally different, guys." This, of course, is usually crushed to oblivion by a reality sledge hammer, but I did manage to make it through the subsequent torture period. Meanwhile, I've been able to make some observations as I've been going along.

1. This diet takes flatulence to a whole new level.

I don't give a fuck if that's TMI. For those of you who don't know about the slow-carb diet, what it does is replaces all the white starchy carbs with beans, which are still carbs but for some scientific reason that involves chemicals and equations and shit, don't make you store fat the way white carbs do. So while you're still getting the carbs you need for energy and to stay full, you aren't putting on all the fat and spiking your insulin levels. So, you are literally eating beans at every single meal and when you're body isn't used to that, let's just say you better either spend the first few days hidden away in your house in a room with good ventilation, or start working those sphincter muscles to practice control. The crazy gas is only temporary (like 4 days) before your body starts to get used to it, but GOOD GOD DAMN it is awful for a while.

2. Cheat Day is the shit!

I'll readily admit that the diet gets more and more difficult the further along you are in your week. My cheat day is tomorrow and I can tell you right now that I want to devour an entire chocolate cake. Just thinking about how much I'm going to eat tomorrow makes me so hungry. But, the cheat day is a good incentive. Unlike most diets where you are constantly torn between having that small ass cookie and feeling guilty for a week, or sadly watching as your friends eat them in bliss, the slow-carb diet gives you one day of the week where you are literally encouraged to go buck fucking wild. Let me give you a rundown of what I ate last Saturday:

• McDonald's Sausage Egg McMuffin
• 3 McDonald's Hashbrowns
• McDonald's Ice Coffee Float
• 7 (YES, SEVEN) Krispy Kreme Donuts
• Carl's Jr. BBQ Western Bacon Burger
• Carl's Jr. Large French Fries
• 20 oz. Coca-Cola
• 16 oz. Mango Juice (Not fresh, all sugar)

And I still lost weight this week! It has something to do with "tricking" your metabolism, I think. Anyway, you just have to go right back to the slow-carb diet the day after, which is why my cheat day is on a Saturday, so I can recover on Sunday. 

3. HabitBull is legit.

I wasn't sure if it was really going to help, but having an app on your phone to remind you to stay with it is actually very beneficial. Just seeing that string of days where I have stayed on track gives me that much more encouragement to keep going.

4. Boredom can seriously fuck up your progress.

I've noticed (not just in the last couple of weeks, but over a while now) that I get bored extremely quick and it is fucking DETRIMENTAL to my progress. The second I don't have something that needs to be done, I either do one of three things:

1. Stress
2. Eat
3. Stress eat 

It's like fucking clockwork. It's crazy how fast I can get bored and then consequently shove mounds of food into my mouth. I've been trying to keep that in check more by promising myself that I will do something active if the boredom comes rather than just sit around and stress/eat.

5. My skin game is on point.

This diet does wonders for my complexion. I'm assuming that has something to do with how much less sugar I am consuming on a daily basis, but to be honest with you, I don't even care what it is. My skin has never been clearer. Although I've never had any major skin problems (never had bad acne or anything), there is a notable difference on this diet. This selfie I took has no filter and I'm not wearing any makeup. Just sitting on the couch in a t-shirt like the slob I am. So yeah, that is definitely another great incentive to sticking with it. 




Well, considering I'm only two weeks in, I'm still an infant when it comes to this diet. But I will keep you posted on any discoveries, as well as start writing some more blogs about general dieting and being fatty McPatty. Wish me luck!!